When We're There I'll Let You Know

by Rachel Wagner

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02:41
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about

"Are we there yet? What time is it? When will we get there? I have to pee. Stop touching me! What time is it? Are we there yet?" Welcome to my minivan. And even more accurately, welcome to the inside of my head. As I write this, Chris and Odame are working on the final mix of the album mere feet from where I am sitting...and I am letting go of these songs. My part is done. Each one is a story. I remember where I was when I wrote them...what I was feeling...the circumstances that surrounded each one. So many were born out of the difficulty of the journey. From walking alongside friends through grief and sorrow and hope and loss. From friends walking alongside me through my own sorrows and joys, and all of us struggling with the questions of: when are we going to get there? When will the rain let up? Do I really have to learn this again? Where are we? What time is it? Aren't we there yet?! And then, learning more of what it means to dream and hope and trust in the midst of the questions. And as I let go of these songs, I am offering them to you. My hope is that you, in the midst of your own questions and sorrows and joys, would find reason to hope, would find encouragement to keep going, would feel the cool evening breeze on your face, and would know that you are not alone. That you would feel that strong hand in yours, holding you steady, and hear that gentle voice whispering "when we're there I'll let you know." Until next time...see you at the railing...thanks for listening.

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released August 1, 2008

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Rachel Wagner Sacramento, California

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Track Name: Through the Darkness
The sun it surprised me today
I'm not sure what to do with this display
'Cause after all the rain for days and days
We're almost drowned and no one here can say...

Will we make it through the darkness?
Are you teasing me with light?
Are there answers to the questions?
Should we just give up the fight?

See how the clouds are closing in again
Their darkness creeping under my skin
And your strange silence sinking in
Leaving me to wonder where I begin

And will you walk me through the darkness?
Will you be my only light?
Be the answer to these questions?
Help me to keep up the fight?

The sun it surprised me today...
Track Name: This Part of Town
Look at the moon, look at the sky
Look at all these good plans gone awry
Look at the light reflect in my eyes
I'm closing them now
'Cause all of this here is not what it seems
It never quite measures up to my dreams
With all of this dust and smoke going round
In this part of town, are you still around?

And you say: "I'm not going anywhere,
No, I'm staying right here"

Well the milk's about to expire
So let's lock the house up and set it on fire
Just run away and leave it behind
Before I lose my mind
But still there's a lot of good to be said
For sticking it out and keeping my head
I'm waving this flag hoping we're found
In this part of town, you're still around

And you say: "I'm not going anywhere,
No, I'm staying right here..." You're staying right here...thanks for staying right here....

Look at the moon, look at the sky
Look at all these good plans gone awry
Track Name: Sometimes
Sometimes I picture myself on a bike
Riding, riding along
Too bad I can't stay on
Sometimes I'm wounded by nothing at all
I'm falling, I'm falling down
Too bad there is no ground

And you never would know
And you never could tell
The sometimes we carry around
The sometimes we know too well

Sometimes I see myself strong as the trees
Roots growing deep in the ground
Tood bad the wind blows me down
Sometimes I hear myself calling to you
I love, I love you so
Too bad I can't let you know
Too bad I don't let you know
I think I should let you know

Cause you never would know
And you never could tell
The love that I carry around
But I know it so well
And you never would know
And you never could tell
The sometimes we carry around
The sometimes we know too well...
Track Name: I've Done Everything
Will you take a breath?
Will you once be still?
I have things to say.
I have wine to fill.

I have washed your feet.
I have made you clean.
I am telling you
I've done everthing.
Track Name: Nowhere Place
What is this place I don't recognize?
Who won the race? What was the prize?

How do we stand here? Where is the ground?
What is this silence? What was that sound?

Where did the road go? Where is the trail?
What is this nowhere? How did we fail?

Spin me on this deserted floor.
Leaves and light are falling through the door.
Track Name: Here I Go
We are trying to fly straight, as high as we can
But the turbulence scares us and we're longing for land
There are questions of beauty and what I haven't seen
And all that I don't know, and the smallness of me

So here I am, and here I go...
And I don't know what I don't know...
But here I go...

I was not born for this hiding and fear
Of the passage of time and of letting you near
And maybe this part of the journey is done
Or maybe the adventure has only begun

So here I am, and here I go...
And I don't know what don't know...
But here I go....
Track Name: Maybe
Hello, I know, well it's been awhile
Hello, you know, well it's been a long time
What's that you said?
Oh, sure I'd like to stay
If you don't mind that I don't have much to say...

But maybe we could talk about the weather
Or maybe I could promise you a letter
Maybe I'll finally get myself together
Maybe I can make this look a little better

I know, there's so much that I never say
But you know, no one would believe me anyway
Well I...let's see...you're sure you want to hear?
I don't quite know if I can make this clear....

But maybe we could talk about the weather
And maybe I could promise you a letter
Maybe I will finally get myself together
Maybe you could wait til it's a little better...

It's much too quiet, you know it's been a while
I'm not used to this, you know it's been a long time
So here we go...first I...and then...
Well, yeah...you know....and guess what happened when...

And maybe...maybe...maybe...
Track Name: Day 930
My eyes are burning and I am wondering
what's wrong with this car
And there evening and there was morning
and there was this scar
We lift the hood and then we turn the key again
listen for the start
But there's only rumblings cause some important things
are missing their parts

And it's day 930 of creation
Let there be light
Let there be some better transportation

The engine's broken, no words are spoken
We're done with asking
And so we push along, thinking something is wrong
Everyone's passing
But then the breezes blow, the evening sky's a show
And we are rolling
Your breath is on the wind, so quickly we jump in
Ride where You're blowing

And it's day 930 of creation
Let there be light
Let there be some healing consolation...let there be some wild imagination...let there be a sweet anticipation...

It's day 930
Track Name: Yes You Can
Here let me teach you, let me show you
Here is my hand
Stand up now and see....
Track Name: Shadowlands
In these shadowlands I squint my eyes and try to see
Dark reflections doing nothing to quiet me

But I can almost smell Your fragrance now
I can almost hear You breathing
And in this darkness I imagine how it will be

And this longing, this aching for You it's what I breathe
In each moment of waiting for You I do believe

That I can almost smell Your fragrance now
I can almost hear you breathing
And in this darkness I imagine how it will be
To hear you singing
over me.....
Track Name: The Boat Song
So I'm tired and wondering what you
could possibly be thinking
You're a mystery, don't make sense to me
Did I mention I'm sinking?

So here's the oars
You can row
When we're there, let me know

I told you I don't like the water and
I'm not too fond of sailing
Could you slow this down? The rocking around's
got me over the railing

You take my hand
And whisper low
"When we're there I'll let you know....."
Track Name: Eucharist Hymn
This day receive me Son of God
Communing at Your mystic feast
For I will not betray your mystery to your foes
Will never give a kiss like that which Judas gave
But like the thief I shall confess to You
In Your royal kingdom Lord
Be mindful of me.