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When We're There I'll Let You Know

by Rachel Wagner

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1.
The sun it surprised me today I'm not sure what to do with this display 'Cause after all the rain for days and days We're almost drowned and no one here can say... Will we make it through the darkness? Are you teasing me with light? Are there answers to the questions? Should we just give up the fight? See how the clouds are closing in again Their darkness creeping under my skin And your strange silence sinking in Leaving me to wonder where I begin And will you walk me through the darkness? Will you be my only light? Be the answer to these questions? Help me to keep up the fight? The sun it surprised me today...
2.
Look at the moon, look at the sky Look at all these good plans gone awry Look at the light reflect in my eyes I'm closing them now 'Cause all of this here is not what it seems It never quite measures up to my dreams With all of this dust and smoke going round In this part of town, are you still around? And you say: "I'm not going anywhere, No, I'm staying right here" Well the milk's about to expire So let's lock the house up and set it on fire Just run away and leave it behind Before I lose my mind But still there's a lot of good to be said For sticking it out and keeping my head I'm waving this flag hoping we're found In this part of town, you're still around And you say: "I'm not going anywhere, No, I'm staying right here..." You're staying right here...thanks for staying right here.... Look at the moon, look at the sky Look at all these good plans gone awry
3.
Sometimes 03:15
Sometimes I picture myself on a bike Riding, riding along Too bad I can't stay on Sometimes I'm wounded by nothing at all I'm falling, I'm falling down Too bad there is no ground And you never would know And you never could tell The sometimes we carry around The sometimes we know too well Sometimes I see myself strong as the trees Roots growing deep in the ground Tood bad the wind blows me down Sometimes I hear myself calling to you I love, I love you so Too bad I can't let you know Too bad I don't let you know I think I should let you know Cause you never would know And you never could tell The love that I carry around But I know it so well And you never would know And you never could tell The sometimes we carry around The sometimes we know too well...
4.
Will you take a breath? Will you once be still? I have things to say. I have wine to fill. I have washed your feet. I have made you clean. I am telling you I've done everthing.
5.
What is this place I don't recognize? Who won the race? What was the prize? How do we stand here? Where is the ground? What is this silence? What was that sound? Where did the road go? Where is the trail? What is this nowhere? How did we fail? Spin me on this deserted floor. Leaves and light are falling through the door.
6.
Here I Go 04:00
We are trying to fly straight, as high as we can But the turbulence scares us and we're longing for land There are questions of beauty and what I haven't seen And all that I don't know, and the smallness of me So here I am, and here I go... And I don't know what I don't know... But here I go... I was not born for this hiding and fear Of the passage of time and of letting you near And maybe this part of the journey is done Or maybe the adventure has only begun So here I am, and here I go... And I don't know what don't know... But here I go....
7.
Maybe 04:53
Hello, I know, well it's been awhile Hello, you know, well it's been a long time What's that you said? Oh, sure I'd like to stay If you don't mind that I don't have much to say... But maybe we could talk about the weather Or maybe I could promise you a letter Maybe I'll finally get myself together Maybe I can make this look a little better I know, there's so much that I never say But you know, no one would believe me anyway Well I...let's see...you're sure you want to hear? I don't quite know if I can make this clear.... But maybe we could talk about the weather And maybe I could promise you a letter Maybe I will finally get myself together Maybe you could wait til it's a little better... It's much too quiet, you know it's been a while I'm not used to this, you know it's been a long time So here we go...first I...and then... Well, yeah...you know....and guess what happened when... And maybe...maybe...maybe...
8.
Day 930 05:18
My eyes are burning and I am wondering what's wrong with this car And there evening and there was morning and there was this scar We lift the hood and then we turn the key again listen for the start But there's only rumblings cause some important things are missing their parts And it's day 930 of creation Let there be light Let there be some better transportation The engine's broken, no words are spoken We're done with asking And so we push along, thinking something is wrong Everyone's passing But then the breezes blow, the evening sky's a show And we are rolling Your breath is on the wind, so quickly we jump in Ride where You're blowing And it's day 930 of creation Let there be light Let there be some healing consolation...let there be some wild imagination...let there be a sweet anticipation... It's day 930
9.
Yes You Can 02:41
Here let me teach you, let me show you Here is my hand Stand up now and see....
10.
Shadowlands 03:49
In these shadowlands I squint my eyes and try to see Dark reflections doing nothing to quiet me But I can almost smell Your fragrance now I can almost hear You breathing And in this darkness I imagine how it will be And this longing, this aching for You it's what I breathe In each moment of waiting for You I do believe That I can almost smell Your fragrance now I can almost hear you breathing And in this darkness I imagine how it will be To hear you singing over me.....
11.
So I'm tired and wondering what you could possibly be thinking You're a mystery, don't make sense to me Did I mention I'm sinking? So here's the oars You can row When we're there, let me know I told you I don't like the water and I'm not too fond of sailing Could you slow this down? The rocking around's got me over the railing You take my hand And whisper low "When we're there I'll let you know....."
12.
This day receive me Son of God Communing at Your mystic feast For I will not betray your mystery to your foes Will never give a kiss like that which Judas gave But like the thief I shall confess to You In Your royal kingdom Lord Be mindful of me.

about

"Are we there yet? What time is it? When will we get there? I have to pee. Stop touching me! What time is it? Are we there yet?" Welcome to my minivan. And even more accurately, welcome to the inside of my head. As I write this, Chris and Odame are working on the final mix of the album mere feet from where I am sitting...and I am letting go of these songs. My part is done. Each one is a story. I remember where I was when I wrote them...what I was feeling...the circumstances that surrounded each one. So many were born out of the difficulty of the journey. From walking alongside friends through grief and sorrow and hope and loss. From friends walking alongside me through my own sorrows and joys, and all of us struggling with the questions of: when are we going to get there? When will the rain let up? Do I really have to learn this again? Where are we? What time is it? Aren't we there yet?! And then, learning more of what it means to dream and hope and trust in the midst of the questions. And as I let go of these songs, I am offering them to you. My hope is that you, in the midst of your own questions and sorrows and joys, would find reason to hope, would find encouragement to keep going, would feel the cool evening breeze on your face, and would know that you are not alone. That you would feel that strong hand in yours, holding you steady, and hear that gentle voice whispering "when we're there I'll let you know." Until next time...see you at the railing...thanks for listening.

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released August 1, 2008

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Rachel Wagner Sacramento, California

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