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Everyday Things

by Rachel Wagner

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1.
Everyday things are stacked by the door And each time I walk by I pick up one more To add to my shoulders, to add to my sack And I trudge through the day Without looking back These everyday things... Everyday things are rolling around Like a bunch of loose marbles all over the ground I'm stepping around them but I slip and fall Deeper into myself and I am buried by all of these Everyday things... But there's a heartbeat of something simple There's a rhythm in the wind There's a singing deep inside me That has come to life again Everyday things....
2.
Driving Away 03:03
I'm driving away wishing that I'd been more gracious I'm driving away wishing that I'd been more kind Wondering why my words won't float across the room Wondering when my tongue will untie I hope it's soon I'm driving away with all the things that I said Spinning around here in my head I never know Just what to say Until I am Driving away...
3.
Changes 03:54
The smell of autumn's on the wind And there is pain inside the change And there is life inside the dying And it all makes me feel so strange The rain applauds up in the trees And now it's singing down to me That this turning must begin And the cold soaks through my skin And You're asking me to breathe the water Find a vision in the black Hear a song that's not been written Know there is no turning back Wishing the water would still a bit Let this shore rest awhile But still I spin beneath these waves Hold on to me for this ride I'm always afraid of one more thing And I feel just like a child As all the memories flood on me And all my dreams are running wild And You're asking me to breathe the water... Help me see You in this black Hear the song that You have written With You there's no turning back
4.
Crazy Friend 03:37
She will be fine in a while Just let her sit and recover from falling Shovel the snow or get out the hoe and start your gardening Soon she will bury her pride and She will start crawling back into life again And there you'll be with flowers in hand "you're crazy for stickin' around", she says Crazy friend...you're crazy my friend You're standing on top of the frozen ice Fearing the chill of what might live below it Wondering if you could survive The deep cold water That's when you see the patches of light And all of the freezing fear melting away Cause here she comes with flowers in hand Warm and laughing....you say... Crazy friend...you're crazy my friend....
5.
Train Yard 05:21
So this sadness is coming again And this all is so familiar Wanting to be right where I am Wanting to be anywhere but here... I intended, expected Something different from this I knew it would not be easy But I did not ask for this mess But love in the train yard is dirty business There's no shiny engines here Just oily perseverence And what do I do When You ask me to And there's nothing in me that can? There is ash all over my hands And there is soot all over my plans This is such an unnatural place to stand 'Cause love in the train yard.... You reach down now With grace and somehow What was impossible is happening... But love in the train yard is still dirty business There's no shiny engines here Just oily brown...smokey black...dusty...grimy... Beautiful...love....
6.
Wrinkles 03:44
I'm waiting with the iron and some wrinkled shirts of yours and soon you'll be pulling in the drive I'll stop the pressing and I'll meet you at the door and somehow we'll both feel more alive First a collar, then a sleeve I breathe in the steam and then feel the whispering evening enveloping... These moments are the wrinkles in my memory and these moments are what's real.... We're sitting at the table All the kids are in bed and we watch the cream clouding in your coffee My tired eyes are mesmerized after days filled with babies and laundry you say... "sing for me", and... I fly again...
7.
Knots 04:51
See the knot there, in the middle? There's the heart of it all There's the longing Where I'm crying: "Hold it together now... Hold on tighter..." See the knot there, in the center? There are things that just won't change or there are things that just don't want to... Don't untie me How could you ask me to? Oh this is my undoing This is You untying me... See the knot there, in the middle? Watch now as it falls apart See me hoping for more than Raw flesh beneath and around it all... See the knot there, in the center? Loosen it so carefully There you're working Skillful fingers pulling as You Set me free Oh this is my undoing This is You untying me... Oh I know this must be done again These ropes are burning my hands So I hold them out to You and Close my eyes as You begin... Oh this is my undoing This is you untying me...
8.
April 02:58
It's a cold and cloudy April I thought that it was spring But winter has its fingers Reaching into everything And the ants have all come inside 'Cause outside it's pouring rain And here I'm fighting with God Over things I can't explain Oh April, where are you? I'm feeling cold today But I know you get what you get And there's nothing left to say And I can see some dead trees standing tall against the sky And I'm feeling kind of lonely Like those branches way up high And I'm waiting for the sunshine To make everything clear And here I am still looking For some color to appear...
9.
Remembering 03:26
Noises all be gone This is who I am Singing still, naked here I stand Completely known But wondering What You are remembering Like rainy afternoons And singing in my room And long walks in the spring And hating waitressing The sound of breaking dreams And letting go of things And how I always see The darkest things in me Listen, I hear You tell me who I am Every detail You understand I'm completely known It's amazing What you are remembering Like writing poetry And midnight monopoly And two a.m. feedings And all my worryings And all the questions why And trying not to cry And how I need to see How You remember me
10.
On the Line 03:28
You call me Just to say...just to say Hi and I love you... And I'm desperate to keep you on the line Oh please don't say goodbye Amy saw the bushes growing And I broke a dish this morning And I'm desperate to keep you on the line Oh please don't say goodbye... It's time for you to go now But you don't know how your voice soothes me And I'm desperate to keep you on the line Oh please don't say goodbye
11.

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released August 1, 2006

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Rachel Wagner Sacramento, California

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